Monday, January 3, 2011

Oatmeal, surface cracks and WTF

So the story I’m about to tell you begins with me nearly chucking my laptop across the living room in sheer frustration. Bill Gates I am definitely not! After chatting with my girl Krystal aka Army Wife 101, I decided to set up a fan page to promote my recently revived blog. Brrahahahaha this is me laughing out of control. Paging Dr. Dumb ass, paging Dr. Dumb ass! Widgets, gadgets, and gizmo's, do this and do that….just shut the hell up and do what I tell you to do. Where’s Jeanie when you need her to wiggle that damn nose of hers and ding….ding…ding….instant website. Icing on the cake one of my ol friends tells me it’s a computer error originating somewhere between the keyboard and the chair. Miss you to Latham!

Ver-ry Impressive Mrs. Cart-wri-right!!!!

Soooo……. after half ass figuring things out, really I just gave up, I decided on Oatmeal for dinner. Yep, all those new cookbook and years of honing my culinary skills, my crew was reduced to boiled oats. Shit happens. After the day I’ve had, it was all I could put out and yes I speaking in pun because if my husband is expecting anything past oatmeal…he may want to call on Rosie Palm to help him out. I’m done. Period. Exclamation Point. Done. Need I say more!
I did, however, agree to curl up on the couch and watch 2012, a movie based on the world ending on December 23, 2012. Why the 23rd of December? Because the Mayan’s said so. Who made them the calendar kings, and because of the fuckers we sat thru an entire movie of large groups of people dealing with natural disasters such as volcanic eruptions, typhoons and glaciers, starting in L.A. with surface cracks. Yes I just said that. Now this I find interesting because my only experience with surface cracks is limited to my husband taking off his combat boots or the housing maintenance man working on the sink. Hmn….Just say no to crack.

One foot on a banana peel the other in the grave

WTF, so now the world’s in a panic of gigantic proportions suffering losses of communications, looting, fires, buildings sinking into monster size craters all the while Uncle Sam is secretly hoarding away food, medical supplies, cultural arts, and societies finest. Don’t act surprised or offended because we all know it would happen just that way if we found ourselves in the exact same situation. Screw the little man. Now to my way of thinking if you keep the genetic pool full of self righteous assholes and know it alls….who provides the beer? Who would be the patsy? Who would you take away from their families and send to war? Who would be the guinea pigs to test new shit on.

Yea, whose laughing now?

All in all the movie ends with only half the world being destroyed, the minority standing up and fighting for the whole. Yea for actors and scripts! A word to the wise though….better start storing up extra spam and batteries though just in case because you never, ever know! We could both end up on the shit end of the stick instead of just Brian and Rosie Palm.  Thanks for letting me post early....busy day tomorrow and well..this one just couldn't wait.  Peace

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