Friday, January 7, 2011

Oohey Goohey was a worm

So this morning I go outside as I do everyday, to tell my love birds good morning and to start my day off proper and GROSS..slugs were everywhere.  I mean as in everywhere like the bowels of hell opened up in our Cul de Sac and they were one of the seven plagues.  Slimy, white trails just lined my front carport that really had no starting or ending point.  CANDICE DOESN'T DO SLUGS!!!!

  I don't have a slug excess, I have a duck deficit. They should feel right at home with the two dogs, cat, 12 fish, four birds and one rabbit.   That should really make my ol man happy.  Where can I get a duck in Hawai'i?  Craigslist?  Freecycle? China Town?

Found the kid.......

Remember I said before when you need the kid you can never find him, but holla lunch and there he is....well  in all my hollering of ewwww's and gross slugs, as I turned to go back into the house, because remember "I don't do slugs".  Aaron comes running out the front door with a can of salt yelling "Coming thru".  I've never seen such excitement!  Who are you and what have you done with my son.  Wait, what are you doing.

 It takes me a second to register that Aaron, my normal cool, calm and collected child is pouring salt on these nasty squirmy things and I quote "ashes to ashes, dust to dust", and on another one "sorry no welcome here"!  He's moving from slug to slug repeating this process, saying something differant to each one.  I can only watch in Master Card commerical fashion as I'm stunned and speachless as the same time.  Quite the feat, I assure you and only hand few of people have been able to accomplish this task in my lifetime, which my son is now in the honored top five!


I nearly fell out, this is my kid after all but the after the initial shock of the slugs, and nearly being knocked down by Aaron with a can of salt, the sight of him killing off slugs with his little eulogies was priceless and freaking hilarious.  I just fell out!  Sir Aaron, Slayer of Slugs.......  hermaphrodite that you nasty ass worms. I was a proud Momma!  What is it about boys and spas mastic bugs and the need to either carry them or kill them.  I'm telling ya'll it was like watching Mickey Mouse in the Disney classic stalking and swatting flies all over except now it's an pre-pubescent teenager taking out slugs from the flower beds.  Oh my sides hurt, the stuff coming out of this kids mouth.  I have no clue where he gets it from. 

Oh wait, whose gonna pick those dead suckers up?  Not I said the blind man, not I said the momma, not I said the kid....I'm late for school.


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