Saturday, January 1, 2011

Pointing that finger at the man in the mirror

1st let me start off by saying Happy New Year!  We had a huge celebration at our house with friends and family, and a good time had by all.  We definitely missed those who couldn't attend but know we will see them soon in the new year!

So today I'm actually on a rant.  I come from a huge family whom I love dearly, and miss them even more but at times I literally want to choke the hell out of some of them.  I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.  We're a very vocal and opinionated group, but that's what we all love about each other.  Anyway it was a post that one of my cousins had made on a status update that set me on my topic for today. 

At this point in time in my life, I am one of the least judgemental people I know but it took me 44 years to reach this point too.  I get angry, frustrated and down right pissed off to the point I speak my mind, but I do not judge people or look down on them.  You'll just have to take my word on it when I say I of all people have no RIGHT to do this anyone.  After making my own share of lifetime mistakes and bad judgement call my motto for years has been if I don't pay your light bill then anything I say or do doesn't matter and the same goes in return.  I've made a lot of decisions based on emotions and anger being the biggest influence of them all.  Sadly because of my experiences I am one of those people that can completely disconnect from my emotions, and that's not always a good thing.  In my past I've given new meaning to the phrase cold hearted bitch, but you know what I know this, I'm not ashamed, nor do I try to hide from it....I've grown from it.  Simply I am who I am and each day with every thing in me I try to be a better person and give back 100% plus 100% more.  No one in this world can punish me for the things I've done anymore or worse than what I punish myself for every SINGLE day.  I only connect with people, even my closet friends on levels that I chose because that is my safety or comfort zone.  Take it for what it is. 

Anyways, didn't mean to go into such depth, my point of the little insight was the beginning of my rant and sorry I'll never go into depth the reasons of my emotional scarring or the pain of my childhood, much to my doctors demise.  Some things are just better kept buried where they belong.  Reason of rant!  People who have the nerve or audacity if you will to point their finger in judgement of others when nothing in their own life is right, socially correct or a foundation for such moral judgement.  Nothing pisses me off more.  Well except the fact when you call a hypocrite out, they again have the nerve to act offended or clueless as to why your calling them out.  LOL your joking right, is this me being judgemental or sarcastic?  Throw your stones, do what you will but throw them in the right direction.  Your own.  This is the oldest lesson in the bible.  Some would say me ranting about this issue is being judgemental or finding others guilty.  Perhaps so, but I'm ranting on paper.  I didn't spit on your neck and try to tell you it's raining. 

Ugh c'mon people.  Seriously, again you don't pay my light bill so truly I don't care what you do, much less say, but when you update, print, or gossip about others and the things you feel they are doing wrong...make sure your own backyard is raked first.  And for Gods sake have some pride, dignity or respect about yourself if nothing else.  Millions of women in history did not go thru their experiences just so you could act like mindless idiots.  I'm all about empowering everyone and we've all acted like idiots before; some just really abuse the privilege.  Today, perhaps I should have been medicated!


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